So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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