i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
