so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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