He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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