Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
