my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
