I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I understand Curling. That high.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
