I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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