you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
