how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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