At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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