best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
