she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
