yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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