Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Someone came in the potted fern
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
