It's like God shit irony all over that family
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
