I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
