Just mADE A PArabola og urine
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
