It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
