You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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