we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize