im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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