Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The uberlube is also flammable
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
