Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
