How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
