Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize