i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
