i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize