Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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