My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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