Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
