I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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