Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
