I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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