I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So squirting runs in the family.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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