He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
