My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
