I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
