Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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