u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
