New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
