he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
