He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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