My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
