I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
