Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
