I can tuck mytits in my pants
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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