Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
