i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
