I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
NoShamevember. You game?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
