Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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