I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
