First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
