Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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