All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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