Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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