You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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