I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
