they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
