Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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