some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
