her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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