she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
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