...so i touched it.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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