wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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