I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
