We're facebook friends in real life
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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