Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
