Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This is the high leading the old right now
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
