Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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