How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
