you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
