I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
