Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
