just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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